#18. Talking During The Movie

movietheaterIf you are a Non-Black Person and you are planning to see a film at a movie theater near an “urban” part of town, you should find an open flame and toss your movie tickets into it, because you are not paying to watch a movie, you are paying to listen to Black People provide their own personal audio commentary throughout the entire movie.

As much as Black People love watching bootleg DVDs, sometimes that isn’t enough. Sometimes they want to watch the new Denzel Washington or Tyler Perry movie at the theater, but Black People have become so used to talking during the movie at home that they forget not everyone shares their enthusiasm about how funny that last joke was or about how that murder victim should really find a better place to hide.

What Non-Black People don’t understand is just how passionate and involved Black People are with watching movies (Black People can experience passion up to 13% more than most other groups).

Unlike most Non-Black People that like to experience a movie in silence so that they can better hear the dialog and examine the hidden visual subtext, Black People take their movie watching experience so seriously that they like to pretend that the movie is playing in realtime and that they can change the outcome of the plot if only they yell loud enough at the movie screen.

It is not the intention of Black People to annoy others or disrupt the movie going experience of other people, it’s just that Black People’s intense love for visual storytelling is so strong and intense that it overwhelms them. The same way people yell and cheer and heckle at a baseball, football or basketball game, Black People like to talk during the movie. It’s in their genetic code and cannot be restrained.

However, if you do happen to find yourself in a movie theater where Black People are talking to the movie screen, if you wish to stay on good terms with Black People you should simply just forget about trying to follow the plot of the movie and join in with the Black People. In some cases you may even find it more enjoyable than watching the actual film.

Posted on September 3, 2009, in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Cryp Slopper vo

    LOL, yeah black people do do that. Im hispanic, but most of my friends are black and with a few of them I cant goto any movie with cause of the unwanted commentary…. HOWEVER this is not genetic coding.. and thats a retarted statement. Its that black people come from a very different history from white people and their history varies.

    Some black people are socialized in white neighborhoods and we get what you might call the “OREO” thing, and the kids theyre raised with a different movie theatre etiquette. ITS DEFINITELY NOT GENETIC. if you want to see all kinds of people with unstereotypical personalities COME TO TORONTO. Skin color only accounts for a fraction of a percentage of human genes… theres 99.8% more the same between races and where we find differences we find alot more variation between individuals regardless of race.(MORE DIFFERENCES WITHIN POPULATIONS RATHER THAN BETWEEN POPULATIONS) And we can interbreed without any problems. The idea of genetics accounting for personality differences– comes from early colonialism in europe where they tried to justify slavery by saying that whites were a superior race because they were the most developed or civilized…

    Some dickhead compared human skulls of whites and blacks. He filled the skulls with marbles and found that whites had more marbles in them than the black skulls
    however that dickhead was using female black skulls
    anyway theres a whole shit about that shit

    But for anyone who thinks that personality differences are GENETIC, your an idiot. We are all, or 99.8% the same.

    And if you suffer from racial bias, come to toronto motherfucker it aint that far

    tities from everywhere!!

    email me if you wanna follow up

  2. I think it’s a combination of a) a total lack of consideration for those around them, and b) a child-like acceptance of fiction as reality. To them, what they’re seeing on screen is as real as the tooth fairy is to a child.

  3. Many blacks look at movies as a diversion from real life. To many blacks, you’re supposed to have “fun” with the movie. It’s not supposed to be serious – yelling out, like riding a roller coaster, is just a part of the experience. This is especially true in a “black” movie (Tyler Perry), where the whole family goes.

    Just like what the author said about blacks not reading books, uneducated blacks don’t care about subtext, plot, camera techniques, character development and all that.

    Still annoying though. I dated a girl like this. Fucking HATED it.

  4. Walter Blorch

    It’s funny how the blacks complain about the lack of blacks in the film while white people complain about blacks in the actual movie theater. I just went to see nice guys and this old aunt Jeremiah and her dried up raisin husband yelled at the screen like a couple of baboons. Cant wait till Trump makes America great again and bans nigroes from white movies. YEAH!

  5. Or you get up and get them kicked out its expensive to go to the movies for some ass clowns to ruin it

  6. Sitting here, trying to watch “Hell and High Water” and, of course, 2 blacks are ruining the movie for a theater full of humans. Smh

  7. Fucking hate it whether or not you’re a black or white, stop disrupting others who PAID to watch the movies. It happened to be a fucking black couple tonight though. Fuck you and watch your DVD or Video Tape or whatever the fuck you own at home I don’t care you’re having a conversation with the characters in the movie or anything if it’s not a fucking movie theatre.

  8. It’s probably the one vital thing the black community (if they insist on being a community unto themselves, a wholly racist idea in my opinion) that being lack of good manners, otherwise known a consideration of others. Somehow the black “community” have convinced themselves that as a separate (racist) group, they are entitled to more consideration and expected to give less.

    Good manners are the thing that keeps us from killing each othe, as in the animal kingdom. And there’s only one real rule we all need in order to be able to have and maintain good relations – The Golden Rule. Should we all treat each other in the manner we expect to be treated, then race would cease to be an issue, and we could live in peace, and settle our disputes in a more permanent manner. The thing that angers each of us would become “old hat” and dispensed with. If we could only find some way to communicate the golden rule at the start of any group activity…….

  9. This is nothing new. White folks avoid black in movies and theaters because they want to be able to talk to there families or watch a movie without hearing a bunch of people yelling and screaming half a mile away. There also seems to be a common theme that if your black you have a free pass to be as loud, obnoxious and disruptive in theaters and restaurants because you are more passionate, more hormonal, and culturally different then those evil white devils.

    The truth is Its BS and even they know it. That behavior is acting out, making a display for all to see because no one calls them out. And they know it that if they pull the race card they’ll get what they want like a bunch of spoiled punk kids that they are.

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