#27. Refering To Celebrities By Their First Names
There is a persistent myth that has been circulating for years that all Black People know each other. That, somehow, the Black Community shares a collective consciousness, a hive mind in which they are all connected and are aware of each other.
This, of course, is 100% true.
The most damming evidence being that Black People refer to other Black People they have never met by their first names. “Denzel”, “Halle”, “Beyoncé”, “Barack”, “Oprah” and the list goes on.
Black People refer to these famous personalities by their first names because Black People are mentally connected to each other and share each other’s thoughts. This is also why. when a Black Person does something terrible like commit a serious crime, that the entire Black Community is to blame and must take full responsibility for not contacting that particular Black Person with telepathy and telling him or her not to commit the terrible crime.
It is also widely believed that “marijuana” can heighten the telepathic link between large groups of Black People, but the side effects that come with this practice (sleepiness, increased appetite, impaired motor skills) seriously reduces Black People’s ability to harness this superhuman power for good.
However, experiments with marijuana, or “weed“, are still ongoing.
Posted on September 6, 2009, in Comedy and tagged Barack Obama, Beyonce, black people, celebrities, Denzel Washington, Halle Berry, marijuana, movies, Oprah, stereotypes, super powers, telepathy, weed. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.