#40. Nails

longnailsIf hair care is one of the biggest preoccupations in the Black Community, then nail care would rank right up there alongside it.

Why do Black People (most notably Black Females) dig long nails so much? There actually isn’t any rational reason why Black People like ridiculously long finger and toe nails. Really. No reason at all. It makes it increasingly difficult to pick up and hold things, as well as making it near impossible to run or defend one’s self when someone feels the need to show off their unregistered handgun at the club (usually a result of having their expensive tennis shoes stepped on).

Scientists have deduced that a Black Female’s desire to obtain long hair has somehow been allowed to carry over into other feminine signs of beauty, such as nails. But like anything worth doing, Black People must always go that extra mile and take things just a little too far. More like a lot too far.

This is compounded by the fact that Black Females that grow their nails super long are usually employed at jobs where they depend greatly on the use of their hands (answering phones, typing, hair care, etc).

Other scientists believe that, not unlike how Black Males wear their hats crooked, that a Black Female grows her nails extra long to indicate to Black Males that they are ready to partake in the Black version of the mating ritual dance. Scientific research on this subject is still ongoing.

Posted on September 16, 2009, in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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