#54. Not Getting Married

wedding-ringWhen it comes to the subject of marriage, Black People have a very unique story to tell.

During slavery, when a Black Couple wanted to get married they were out of luck because it was illegal for slaves to marry, so the ritual of “jumping the broom” was invented as a symbolic gesture (it is assumed the game of limbo was created when a large number of slaves got divorced).

There are 40.9 million Black People in America. More than 1 million Black Males are incarcerated and are thus out of the dating pool, while educated Black Females seem to be putting their education and careers first, as well as refusing to date outside of their race. What’s the deal with Black People and marriage?

Well, the most obvious reasons why Black People don’t dig getting married is judgment and responsibility.

Black People, usually Black Females, have extremely poor judgment when it comes to choosing a spouse, hence why the term “baby mama” has become so popular. Black Females are also 10 times more likely to be romanced by a “thug” or “baller” with no apparent future or prospects who very clearly has no intention of ever getting married or taking responsibility for any children born out of wedlock.

Also Black People, usually Black Males, have suffered a habitual problem with not taking responsibility for the children they father and have instead opted to have children by multiple women instead or, in other words, have endorsed polygamy (minus the marriage part). Many Black Males have been raised exclusively by their mothers and have no real concept of what a father is and are doomed to follow that terrible example.

However, there are solutions that can improve the rate of marriage among Black People, but they seem to rest almost exclusively in the hands of Black Females. Black Males are still males, after all, and it is nearly impossible for them to change their ways short of mind control.

The easiest solution would be for Black Females, namely the educated ones, to open themselves up to pursuing romantic relationships with Non-Black People, but since that has very little chance of actually happening, Black Females could resign themselves to remaining celibate until their wedding night. But since that also has almost zero chance of ever happening, the only solution left would be for The President to issue an executive order for more Black People to marry each other.

Sadly, that probably wouldn’t work either. The search for more realistic solutions to get a Black Person to marry another Black Person is still ongoing.

Posted on October 5, 2009, in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. In the same vane, I have found that black people love to say they are married to someone without actually legally marrying them. Black men will say something along the lines of, “oh well you see, I have been with my gal for a while, and she is my wife.”

  2. And this is the true downfall of America. Women who can’t take care of themselves or their kids. Half ape mutants that hate white people . Riots, civil war. Oh well.

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