#59. Warm Weather

warm_tropical_weatherBlack People and chilly weather are not best friends. They are not even on speaking terms. If you’ve ever met someone who has hiked up a snowy mountain like Mount Everest or K2, chances are they were not a Black Person. This is because Black People do not hike up snowy mountains (or any mountain, for that matter) in addition to having an aversion to the cold.

Black People are a tropical people. Dark skin does not absorb light and heat as easily as pale skin, so most Black People can only be truly comfortable while operating in warm temperatures.

This, of course, is the sole reason why Black People have not yet been able to conquer the NHL. The Black Community has been lobbying for years to get central heating installed in all hockey rinks for just this reason, but have yet to be successful.

If you have invited a Black Person to your home and they refuse to leave, just turn the heat off. If it is summer time, use a fire extinguisher. Chilly temperatures are like kryptonite to Black People. The only exceptions to this rule is in relation to beer and ice cream, and even those can be risky (brain freeze has been known to cause fatalities in Black People on more than one occasion).

Posted on October 20, 2009, in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Are you just plain stupid? Fool im a African American male and I love. Love cold weather. I hate but tolerate hot weather.

    • I’m a “Scottish…and Then Some Others…-American” and I am right there with you wise one! I’ll bet your nipples look like chocolate diamonds when your are happy! For us “non-fools”…we gotta represent the cold weather!

  2. If all black people Hate cold weather go back in time and tell that to Matthew Henson , the 1st to reach the North Pole who also was African American.

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