#68. Not Eating Right

This may come as a complete and total shock to you, but Black People like to eat.

“But everyone likes to eat!” you might be saying to yourself. That’s true, nearly 34% of adults are obese in the U.S. But at least 60% of Black males are overweight and 78% of Black females lead the population in obesity.

Ouch. That’s harsh. But what could the cause be? Is it hereditary? Is it because the Black Community accepts larger body sizes? Is it because Black People don’t feel as guilty or ashamed about being overweight as much as other groups? Is it because Black People are less likely to “purge” or take other extreme measures to lose weight? Or is it simply fried chicken?

No. It’s none of these things.

The problem is food itself. Food just tastes too good to Black People. They simply cannot resist free food. If you have wronged a Black Person or wish to make friends with a Black Person, offering them tasty food is the best and easiest way to get in their good graces. Have a lot of Black People you need to impress? Have a cookout/barbecue! You’ll have tons of Black Friends in no time!

However, under no circumstances should you offer a Black Person anything “diet” or “healthy”. To do so will only end in violence. You have been warned.

Posted on October 26, 2010, in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAh u’re fcking killed me on this one.

  2. The essence of “soul food” is the beautification of the slop food that a slavemaster left for his slaves to eat. Passed down from gen to gen is the myth that this high fat food can be made “tasty” if you doctor it up with enough sugar, flour, grease, etc. Couple that with low wages, where a poor black has to buy cheap but low-quality foods, plus a general lack of education, and being around other who do it, and you have the makings of high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.

    News for you: Hispanics and latinos are next for similar reasons.

  3. The average black person carries around a few food stamp cards and had nothing better to do than get high and eat doritos by the pound

  4. this is racist as hell. yall should all be shamed of yourself.

  5. Diet Coke is OK at the end of a fat black woman’s order of 3 McRib sandwiches, large french Fries, extra mayo for the ff, an apple pie and a hot fudge sundae. Seen it lots of times.

  6. Walter Blorch

    That is,soooooo true!

  7. So where are all of these fat honkies coming from.

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