Blog Archives

#41. The Idea Of Tiger Woods

tiger-woodsIt is a commonly held truism that Black People never played golf until Tiger Woods, a Black Person, systematically conquered the sport. This is 100% true.

It has long since been a key agenda of the Black Community to be the undisputed champion of every sport ever created in the history of mankind, except of course hockey (Black People despise playing sports in cold temperatures). Ever since Jesse Owens disproved Nazi propaganda that Black People were physically inferior to Aryan People by winning four gold metals at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, the Black Community has made it a top priority to continue to be the best in all physically events if only to annoy Aryan People.

Black People dig the idea of Tiger Woods because he is living breathing proof of something that all Black People believe to be true, that no matter what, a Black Person will always be the best in any physical activity that involves a ball: football, baseball, basketball, tennis, etc (note: hockey has a puck, not a ball). Even though Black People don’t really like to watch or play golf or tennis or soccer that much, they still like to know that if they did ever decide to play it that they would kick serious butt no matter what just because they are a Black Person.