Blog Archives

#21. Lotion and Chapstick

lotion_chapstickIf you are not a Black Person, you may not be aware that Black People can easily contract a fairly common yet horrible skin condition known as “being ashy” and often times their lips can get extremely chapped, or “crusty”.

For a Black Person to go out in public with ashy skin and crusty lips is a terrible criminal offense to all Black People and ranks right up there with owning a Prius and dating a Caucasian Person.

Everyone gets dry skin, but Black People get dry skin 88.8% more than most other groups, so Black People have decided to turn it into a huge issue. The only way that Black People can combat ashy skin and crusty lips is to have a travel bottle of lotion (preferably Lubriderm) and at least two sticks of chapstick on their person at all times (but not the cheap Dollar Store stuff, but the CVS or Rite Aid high quality expensive stuff).

Note: A Black Person can not achieve “baller” status with ashy skin and crusty lips. The only thing they can achieve is getting laughed at and made fun of by properly moisturized and lubricated Black People.