Blog Archives

#67. Going To The Club

Find a Black Person. Any Black Person. Between the ages of 21 and 39. Ask them what they are planning to do this weekend.

11 times out of 10 their response will most likely be, “Going to the club.”

Black People love the club. Love it. Love it to death. Why? Because the club is the perfect environment for many of the things Black People dig.

There’s alcohol. There’s dancing. There’s loud talking. There’s loud music. There’s the opportunity to show off their new hair style or expensive tennis shoes. And above all, there’s the distinct possibility of having unprotected sex.

If, for some reason, you are the type of person who wishes to live someplace where there are no Black People, find an area that is far away from the nearest nightclub and move there. You will probably never see any more Black People for the rest of your life. And the ones you do see will be Black People who are too old to go to the club. These types of Black People are also known as “outcasts“.

So now you know.

#53. Internet Dating Websites

internet_datingNearly everything a Black Person says, does or buys usually has something to do with Black People’s insatiable genetic desire to procreate.

But going to bars or clubs to find a potential mate is no longer the first line of attack for Black People to achieve this. Thanks to the Internet, dating websites have given Black People a new way to engage in questionable romantic entanglements.

Websites like MySpace, Face Book, Tagged and Black Planet are just a few online venues Black People explore on the road to initiating the mating ritual dance.

If you see a Black Person between the ages of 16 and 45 using a computer, chances are they are looking at or have recently visited an online dating or socializing website with the express intent of finding someone to date. If a Black Person in this same age range has an e-mail address, chances are they only got it because the internet dating website they went to required one in order to become a member.

Of course, lots of different kinds of people also prowl internet dating websites in search of a girlfriend/boyfriend or perhaps even a spouse. Not Black People, though, who use internet dating websites exclusively for hooking up (also known as a “one night stand” ).