Blog Archives

#57. The Idea of Owning a Bentley

Bentley_ContinentalNext to the Cadillac Escalade, the most desired car that Black People would like to own is the British manufactured Bentley.

The problem is that a Bentley, even a used one, is liable to be out of the average Black Person’s price range. That and the fact that most Black People know that a Bentley parked in an urban neighborhood for too long is a Bentley that wants to be stolen.

So most Black People who do not have corporate sponsorship, a record deal or a Hollywood movie contract must relegate themselves to only dreaming about owning a Bentley. But what makes owning a Bentley so much more attractive to Black People than, say, owning an Aston Martin or a Ferrari? The answers may confuse you.

Long story short, owning a Bentley is the absolute epitome of being “baller“. A Black Person can simply not get any more baller than driving down the road in a Bentley sitting on 23 inch rims. This is not to say that owning an Aston Martin or Ferrari isn’t also baller, but a secret panel of Black People that were all recognized as being baller held a vote to determine which automobile was the most baller and the Bentley won out (the Rolls Royce came in second).

#37. Having Indian In Their Family

indiansAlthough Black People take great pride in being Black and are always mindful of their African heritage, there is also an unusual generational practice throughout the Black Community of advertising (more like bragging) that they have Native American ancestors.

Different from how some Caucasian People like to claim their British, French, German, Scottish or Irish ancestries (which is not unlike claiming to have “California” or “Texas” ancestry), Black People like to claim they have Native American ancestry for many different reasons, paramount of which being that Native Americans are known to have “good hair”.

The other major reason being that the ancestors of both Black People and Native Americans have been seriously wronged by Caucasian People in the past, most notably slavery, Manifest Destiny and the Trail of Tears. Not to mention the fact that both groups have been repeatedly demonized in old American movies for decades; Black People being portrayed as fools working menial jobs and Native Americans being portrayed as savage killers that rape and kidnap Caucasian Females.

Both groups are also routinely mislabeled by most of American Society; Native Americans are commonly referred to as “Indians” (even by Black People) and Black People are usually referred to as “African Americans” (even if they were born and raised in Canada).

However, if a Black Person does claim to have Native American ancestry and it is pretty obvious that isn’t true, do not under any circumstances call them on it. Challenging a Black Person’s Native American lineage can only end in violence.