Blog Archives

#54. Not Getting Married

wedding-ringWhen it comes to the subject of marriage, Black People have a very unique story to tell.

During slavery, when a Black Couple wanted to get married they were out of luck because it was illegal for slaves to marry, so the ritual of “jumping the broom” was invented as a symbolic gesture (it is assumed the game of limbo was created when a large number of slaves got divorced).

There are 40.9 million Black People in America. More than 1 million Black Males are incarcerated and are thus out of the dating pool, while educated Black Females seem to be putting their education and careers first, as well as refusing to date outside of their race. What’s the deal with Black People and marriage?

Well, the most obvious reasons why Black People don’t dig getting married is judgment and responsibility.

Black People, usually Black Females, have extremely poor judgment when it comes to choosing a spouse, hence why the term “baby mama” has become so popular. Black Females are also 10 times more likely to be romanced by a “thug” or “baller” with no apparent future or prospects who very clearly has no intention of ever getting married or taking responsibility for any children born out of wedlock.

Also Black People, usually Black Males, have suffered a habitual problem with not taking responsibility for the children they father and have instead opted to have children by multiple women instead or, in other words, have endorsed polygamy (minus the marriage part). Many Black Males have been raised exclusively by their mothers and have no real concept of what a father is and are doomed to follow that terrible example.

However, there are solutions that can improve the rate of marriage among Black People, but they seem to rest almost exclusively in the hands of Black Females. Black Males are still males, after all, and it is nearly impossible for them to change their ways short of mind control.

The easiest solution would be for Black Females, namely the educated ones, to open themselves up to pursuing romantic relationships with Non-Black People, but since that has very little chance of actually happening, Black Females could resign themselves to remaining celibate until their wedding night. But since that also has almost zero chance of ever happening, the only solution left would be for The President to issue an executive order for more Black People to marry each other.

Sadly, that probably wouldn’t work either. The search for more realistic solutions to get a Black Person to marry another Black Person is still ongoing.

#53. Internet Dating Websites

internet_datingNearly everything a Black Person says, does or buys usually has something to do with Black People’s insatiable genetic desire to procreate.

But going to bars or clubs to find a potential mate is no longer the first line of attack for Black People to achieve this. Thanks to the Internet, dating websites have given Black People a new way to engage in questionable romantic entanglements.

Websites like MySpace, Face Book, Tagged and Black Planet are just a few online venues Black People explore on the road to initiating the mating ritual dance.

If you see a Black Person between the ages of 16 and 45 using a computer, chances are they are looking at or have recently visited an online dating or socializing website with the express intent of finding someone to date. If a Black Person in this same age range has an e-mail address, chances are they only got it because the internet dating website they went to required one in order to become a member.

Of course, lots of different kinds of people also prowl internet dating websites in search of a girlfriend/boyfriend or perhaps even a spouse. Not Black People, though, who use internet dating websites exclusively for hooking up (also known as a “one night stand” ).