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#3. Incense

incenseYou may not know it, but it is a commonly held truism that Black People have a heightened, almost super-human sense of smell. Good scents can smell up to two or three times better to a Black Person, and bad scents can smell up to four or five times worse to a Black Person.

The solution? Incense! The average Black Person finds common air fresheners and air sponges extremely lacking and too costly to be effective. Incense is cheap, strong, cheap, lasts fairly long, and let’s not forget it’s pretty cheap. Its smoky emission can also be used as a good masking agent for those Black people who are more, ahem, marijuana-inclined.

If you know a Black Person and you’re not sure what to get them for their birthday or the holiday, get them lots and lots of incense, preferably the thick home-made kind with a symbol of Africa on the package. But don’t go overboard or it may be seen a romantic gesture.