Blog Archives

#47. Complicated Handshakes

black_handshakeIf you didn’t know by now, all Black People have an inherent sense of creativity. This extends to many facets of Black Culture, none so obvious as the Black Handshake.

But why must Black People over-complicate a simple greeting like a handshake? Well, because they can. That and it makes an otherwise simple gesture and distinguishes it as being exclusively Black, so that when other Non-Black People see a really impressive Black Handshake they will be instantly envious of Black People and will render simple handshakes as deeply unsatisfying.

Some scholars even believe that the Black Handshake could ultimately lead to the end of racism. Yes, really. You see, Non-Black People are so enamored with Black Handshakes that they will do almost anything to learn how to perform them, even putting their prejudice views aside in favor of being taught this unique handshake. Then they can show it off their new-found skill to all of their friends as proof that they have actually spent time with Black People outside of a work environment (an amazing achievement for any Non-Black Person).