Blog Archives

#62. The Black Taco

Black-Jack-Taco-from-Taco-BellUnlike the Black Market or the Black Plague, black has finally been given a suffix that is tasty and delicious and at an affordable price.

The Black Community and Taco Bell have been quite fond of one another for decades, almost as much as Black People and KFC have been. But KFC never made a “Black Combo Meal” or “Black Chicken Sandwich”, so Taco Bell has now become the premiere fast food establishment within the Black Community for finally acknowledging the Black People that eat there by naming a taco after them.

Walk down the street. Ask a Black Person, any Black Person, if they like the Black Taco. Even if they have never even tried one yet, chances are they will still speak fondly of it. Now it is up to McDonald’s to make a “Black Cheeseburger”, Burger King to make a “Black Whopper”, and Wendy’s to simply make something that actually tastes good.

#30. Frying

fried-chickenIt is a commonly held truism that Black People (and only Black People) just love fried chicken, that they just can’t get enough of it. That a Black Person would trade in all their worldly possessions for a lifetime supply of fried chicken.

This is without a doubt 100% fact.

No other group of people on the entire planet likes fried chicken except Black People. Both the Kentucky Fried Chicken and Popeye’s Chicken franchises thrive only because of Black People’s unquenchable lust for fried chicken. If you ever see a Caucasian Person in a Popeye’s Chicken or KFC it’s because they are lost and are just asking for directions to the nearest Wendy’s.

But fried chicken is only the symptom to a much larger issue when it comes to Black Culture. Black People love fried anything. French Fries, fish, turkey, pork chops, you name it and it tastes better fried to any Black Person you feed it to. If something can be cooked and eaten then it can be fried first. If the only thing left to eat in the whole world were Twinkies, Black People would find a way to fry them and make them taste good.

But why do Black People like to fry things so much? No one really knows. Not even slavery can explain this one away. And despite the health risks associated with constantly eating fried foods, Black People have no intention of giving up this practice anytime soon. Peace will come to the Middle East before Black People stop eating fried food, especially chicken.