Blog Archives

#12. Cadillac Escalades

escaladeThere are many mysteries in the universe. Who really shot JFK? What really happened to Jimmy Hoffa? And why do Black People really love the Cadillac Escalade so much? The answer may surprise you.

“It’s baller“. It’s that simple.

Black People have a high propensity to spend their hard-earned money on stupid and expense things they have no business buying and the Cadillac Escalade is right at the top of the list. Some Black People don’t even know themselves why they would want such a large, overpriced vehicle with extremely poor gas mileage that is liable to bring every car thief within a 20 mile radius out of the woodwork. Common sense should convince Black People to stop buying these vehicles, but everyone knows that common sense and Black People don’t always get along.

The only other explanation must be that Black People secretly enjoy getting pulled over by the police, because that’s exactly what’s in store for any Black Person that plans to drive one of these vehicles down the freeway with 23 inch rims and music blasting. The police don’t even need probable cause anymore, because a Black Person driving a Cadillac Escalade must be up to something.