Blog Archives

#53. Internet Dating Websites

internet_datingNearly everything a Black Person says, does or buys usually has something to do with Black People’s insatiable genetic desire to procreate.

But going to bars or clubs to find a potential mate is no longer the first line of attack for Black People to achieve this. Thanks to the Internet, dating websites have given Black People a new way to engage in questionable romantic entanglements.

Websites like MySpace, Face Book, Tagged and Black Planet are just a few online venues Black People explore on the road to initiating the mating ritual dance.

If you see a Black Person between the ages of 16 and 45 using a computer, chances are they are looking at or have recently visited an online dating or socializing website with the express intent of finding someone to date. If a Black Person in this same age range has an e-mail address, chances are they only got it because the internet dating website they went to required one in order to become a member.

Of course, lots of different kinds of people also prowl internet dating websites in search of a girlfriend/boyfriend or perhaps even a spouse. Not Black People, though, who use internet dating websites exclusively for hooking up (also known as a “one night stand” ).

#26. Wearing Hats Crooked

crookedhatThere is much speculation as to why Black People, Black Males specifically, choose to wear their hats at an odd angle. Besides the fact that hat tilting is clearly “baller“, it also has a lot to do with Black People’s heightened sense of creativity.

You see, Black People have an overwhelming need to stand out… by imitating other Black People. If one Black Person does something unusual that goes against the established dress code (like wearing their pants hanging off of their rear ends) then it becomes instantly fashionable within the Black Community.

It also has a lot to do with the mating rituals of Black People. The same way a male peacock spreads its feathers to attract a mate, Black Males wear their hats crooked, expensive tennis shoes, and big face watches to let available Black Females know that they are ready to “bone”.

However, because of the increasing rate of biracial babies born every year, research data points to the possibility that hat tilting may actually attract females from other groups as well. There also appears to be a substantial rise in Non-Black People that choose to imitate this practice known as “wiggers“, but their ability to attract Black Females with this practice has been sketchy at best.

#24. Discriminating Against Interracial Couples

heidi-sealDespite the fact that virtually all Black People in America have ancestors that are not Black (i.e. slavery), and despite the fact that many famous personalities that are popular with Black People come from an interracial background (Halle Berry, Tiger Woods, The Rock, Vin Diesel, The President), the sight of a Black Person in an intimate embrace with someone that is not Black still sends a cold chill up a Black Person’s spine. But why? The answer is more complex than you might think.

Black Hate towards interracial couples is perhaps one of, if not the biggest controversy in the Black Community, but it is not without nuance. Black People are permitted to have intimate contact with the following Non-Black groups: Asian People, Spanish/Mexican People, Samoan People, Indian People, Native American People, dark-skinned Italian People, Aboriginal People and Jewish People with extremely curly hair.

Black People are not permitted to have intimate contact with the following Non-Black groups: Caucasian People.

The most despised combination is of course the Black Male and the Caucasian Female, even if it’s only in a fiction sense (just as Wesley Snipes). Because of the large number of incarcerated Black Males in America (over 1 million), the ratio of available Black Females to Black Males can be as high as 7 to 1 in some cases. And since the vast majority of Black Females can not possibly imagine living their lives without a Black Male to complain to their girlfriends about, many Black Females see interracial couples as threatening their personal happiness (even if the Black Female in question is already in a long-term relationship).

That and the Black Community’s ongoing resentment towards Caucasian People over slavery. Jewish People didn’t stop being intimate with Caucasian People after the holocaust, but Black People seem hellbent on limiting their romantic options and choosing to be alone rather than embrace Caucasian People as possible life partners. But Black People’s overwhelming propensity for “boning” will ultimately make this form of discrimination obsolete.