Blog Archives

#26. Wearing Hats Crooked

crookedhatThere is much speculation as to why Black People, Black Males specifically, choose to wear their hats at an odd angle. Besides the fact that hat tilting is clearly “baller“, it also has a lot to do with Black People’s heightened sense of creativity.

You see, Black People have an overwhelming need to stand out… by imitating other Black People. If one Black Person does something unusual that goes against the established dress code (like wearing their pants hanging off of their rear ends) then it becomes instantly fashionable within the Black Community.

It also has a lot to do with the mating rituals of Black People. The same way a male peacock spreads its feathers to attract a mate, Black Males wear their hats crooked, expensive tennis shoes, and big face watches to let available Black Females know that they are ready to “bone”.

However, because of the increasing rate of biracial babies born every year, research data points to the possibility that hat tilting may actually attract females from other groups as well. There also appears to be a substantial rise in Non-Black People that choose to imitate this practice known as “wiggers“, but their ability to attract Black Females with this practice has been sketchy at best.

#23. Big Face Watches

bigfacewatchIf you have been interacting with Black People for an extended period of time (forced or otherwise), you may have noticed that some of them tend to wear oversized watches.

Your first thought may have been that those particular Black People have poor eyesight and need watches with a bigger face to better see the time. If that was indeed your first thought then you would be wrong. Dead wrong. Not even close.

Black People like big face watches simply because it’s “baller“. Rhythmic Musicians (also known as “rappers“) are responsible for the increased desire in the Black Community to acquire and own this flashy article of jewelry.

This, unfortunately, does not impact a Black Person’s ability to reach a predetermined destination at the appointed hour (aka “CP Time“).